Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Golf Contract

Current Golf Contract: (I can play all the golf I want as long as..)
  1. It is Saturday.
  2. get home, meaning in the house, by 12:00 P.M.

These rules may seem harsh/rigid but I have been able to abide by them for the longest time. Sure, there have been times when I've been in breach of contract but have gotten off with a verbal warning or the dreaded "stink eye".

Well, I had a heart to heart and was able to renegotiate the current terms of the contract to be ammended as thus:

New Golf Contract:

  1. I can practice/play golf THREE (3) times per month.
  2. A MINIMUM of TWO (2) of the practice/play rounds MUST be completed with me at the house by 10:00 A.M.
  3. I can play ONE (1) FULL, uninterrupted, non-threatening, non -worrysome, non-"stink eye" 18 hole round ONE (1) time per month.
  4. FULL 18 hole rounds CANNOT be played back-to-back, consecutively.
  5. I am ALLOWED to play back-to-back 9-hole rounds. (as long as I'm home by 10:00 A.M.)
  6. Practice/play rounds (9 or 18 holes) not played WILL NOT carry over into the new/next month. USE OR LOSE.
  7. This contract can be renegotiated/terminated AT ANY TIME by wife.

Now at first this may seem rigid but I guess I'm counting on playing that ONE time in the month with out any worry of impending/imminent penality. That's about it..So what do you guys think?


John B. said...

Your choices as I see them:

Find a new that allows more golf time.

Lie to your wife and tell her that you are going to the library for a few hours every Saturday morning.

Withhold sex until your wife gives you more golf time. This ploy works for women, doesn't it?

Stomp your feet and cry until you get more golf time.

'Man up'...You simply must get more golf time per month. :)

Greg said...

If I were you I would start stopping off for a beer with the guys a few nights a week after work. It's very important to "network" with your collegues.

Once that gets out of hand, you will be in a better position to re-negotiate your golf contract.

Another idea would be to start a "Daddy's Group" or "Husbands Group". Meet once a month say from 7:30 to 12:00 on Saturdays. The idea is to talk about what you can do to become better Fathers/Husbands - she'll like the idea, trust me. Yes, it's just coincidence that your group just happens to be your golf buddies.

Another option is to play in the afternoon. My wife likes it when she doesn't have to cook a regular meal. She looks at it like a bit of a break from her daily grind in this case.

I think this all depends on if your wife goes to work ar stays at home with the kids (which is work too).


GolfNomad said...

Well, finding a new wife is a tad out of the question. She's the last one to believe I'm going to the library..period.

I like the "Daddy's Group"'s being done once a was done last Sunday at The Vineyard Golf Course in Escondido..but she knows I play

I would like to play afternoons too but that's our "family" time so I'm better off playing in the morning.

Anonymous said...

You need a new agent to negotiate for you. You got nothing out of that deal.Very depressing.